Defense Mechanism/Projection

Projection is a defense mechanism used when there is an unwanted or undesirable feeling or thought within and it is projected onto another person. For example, say your spouse forgets to take the keys out of the igniton and because the car sounds so quiet nobody notices for at least an hour. You both get to the car and your husband shouts, "how can you be so stupid" to you. Now we both know that he is the person who forgot to take the keys out of the igniton and yet seems to be very angry at you. He is projecting his feelings onto you. He does not want to look like or feel foolish. This is often what happens. The person usually fails to take responsbility for their own feelings, thoughts, or actions and places the blame on someone else. In another example say you are angry at your best friend for not calling enough and you begin to feel resentful. Instead of owning these feelings you ask your friend the next time you see her if she is upset because you have been so busy and unable to call. This is a poor way to express and communicate feelings but it happens all the time. It causes confusion and somethimes anger. The person that is being projected on has no clue where this is coming from. When you recognize what is happening you can use it as a tool for better communication.

I think that the core of this defense is shame. Its an inability to accept the thought, behavior, or feeling and take responsibility because at some point down the line the person learned that it was not ok to express, feel certian emotions, or make mistakes. Sometimes when the projection is placed on someone else, it doesn't seem as bad and the projector learns that its not the end of the world after all.  

God understands and knows our weaknesses. We can't hide anything from him. He sympathizes with our struggles and pain.

Defense Mechanism/Reaction Formation

Humans use defense mechanisms when we don't know how to deal with pain, anxiety, stress, and unwanted  feelings. One of the defenses we use is a term called Reaction Formation. Sometimes we experience a strong desire for something that we can't have or we feel shameful about so we produce a feeling that is just the opposite of what we are really feeling inside. For example there are many women that can't have children and a way for them to reduce the anxiety and reduce the desire for wanting a child is to begin to dislike children. Then if they dislike children, the desire for children is reduced.

God desires truth, not false facades. It's deceptive at its core. It denies what we are really feeling inside. Self awareness will help deepen our relationship with God and others.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6

The first thing we need to do is admit the desire and if its a sinful desire like a craving that is not of God then we confess it. Identify what it is, lust, greed, envy, pride....What is the driving force?
1 John 1:9

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

Galatians 5:17

The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the spirit,  you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. 

Galatians 5:24

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 

Christians have the power of God living within, so we are fully equipped to overcome sin. If its a craving of alcohol, drugs, pornography, the first thing to do is get rid of it. God is serious about sin because it destroys our soul, ruins our witness, and damages relationships. Don't hang around temptation, things that would lead to sin, but pretend that your appalled by it or don't have a problem with it. 

Maybe it's not a sinful desire but its a desire that isn't Gods will. In this case we can accept Gods perfect plan and will for our lives knowing that he is sovereign, and in control of every detail and he knows what is best. It's difficult because we think we know what is best, but God knows what's best. Our nature doesn't want to accept, concede, or deny ourselves because in our minds we think we are missing out on something. This is always the devils way of getting us to doubt in Gods goodness, and getting us to believe that God is holding out on us. 

Gods promise:

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19